Tuesday, August 08, 2006
my mother was never [and still isn't] one for gore. my grandmother, however, is. we were sitting at the dining table chatting over fruits. logans to be exact. and my grandmother suddenly mentioned something along the lines of "getting his eyes lasered" in her usual language comprising of broken chinese and cantonese. unfortunately, i didn't always understand. i misunderstood it for the laser treatment people receive for skin regeneration that always leaves ugly splotches in his/her face before it fully recovers. my mother had given me a weird look.
"what are you talking about?! she's referring to uncle jeffrey getting lasered for his eye la!"
oh. so THAT was what it meant.
and they then continued with the conversation.
ah. the makings of a broken family.
where granddaughters inherit their grandmother's love for blood and gore. yet they don't inherit the ability to understand the arcane language all grannies use. maybe it's every alternate generation. who knows. it's one of the mysteries surrounding the mystical creatures we call: GRANNIES.
one extremely distinguishable trait of GRANNIES is their PERMED HAIR. in place of hair, is gray curls. gray 'extremely-curled-curls'. this is the result of many years of nagging. the pent up frustration they could never bring themselves to release upon their children gets to them eventually and causes their hair to gray and curl.
another trait is the ARCANE LANGUAGE they are able to miraculously know once they hit the GANNY stage. It comprises of a confusing mix of chinese, malay, cantonese, and hokkien; it is a language few from the younger years can understand. however, once one hits 70, one attains NIRVANA and thus enlightenment. apparently, newfound wisdom of this archaic lingo is so enthralling that one would not want to use ENGLISH, nor SINGLISH any more.
GRANNIES can be found everywhere and ANYWHERE. mostly in kitchens. they would most likely be found preparing meals, gossiping over the phone, or nagging at their progeny.
when you find yourself getting nagged at by a GRANNY, simply go either:"orh.", "okay" or "ah." till she stops. this skill does not require much practice, howvever it requires special ears equipped with state-of-the-art filtration systems. so that the gibberish is flushed out, and only important parts of the tirade are received. i am sure however, that a large majority of the population was born with that. only a selected few have been blessed with such patience [and indestructable sanity].
LOL. that was dumb. hahs if a granny is reading this, i mean you NOOO HARMMM ATT ALL! hahs i love my grandmother. she's such a dear, but at times i have absolutely no idea what she's ranting about. thus the post.
today is national day. the national day of singapore to be exact. i just had to post something as a sign of respect for the country. in actual fact, there is nothing to blog about. but since i've started typing shit, i must continue on this perilous journey fraught with fear and danger.
seriously though. what do i say.
hmm. think. thinkk. think.
ah yes. today i shall be visiting a good friend i haven't seen in YEARS. we used to play as kids. he would be off looking for materials to dress barbie up in, and i would be playing with the cars. he was... the sister i never had. and his wedding dress designs for barbie were quite pretty, i must admit. we began drifting apart when i was in p5. too busy and too tired to care. it wasn't a sad 'parting though' we still keep in contact, i just... haven't seen him since 2 years ago. i hope he's well, and although this might not sound right. i hope he's still as girly as ever. i adore sissy guy friends. they are such darlings. whelps. i can do nothing but hope. here's to meeting him again.
yesterday's ND celebrations was rather fun. if you didn't take into consideration the fact that everyone was sweating bucketfuls or that we[namely the kiasu ones] were all squashed between the railings and the hordes of people clambouring to get better views of the performances. i live a very squashed life. doomed to be compressed from the start and now this. i hope i haven't shrunk. i most certainly do not want to be any shorter than i already am. in any case, i found the secondary one skits to be mot entertaining. especially 1o2's CHRONICLES OF SINGAPORE: the MERlion, the witch, and the wardrobe. despite the extremely lame name, it was very funny. the girl that played the indian boy was hilarious.
the plot went something like this:
once upon a time there were four children
Peter[malay] Edmund[indian] Susan[chinese] Lucy[Caucasian]
they all lived in singapore, and they found singaporean life extremely dull,
monotonous, and downright boring. [agreed]
one day when they were playing together, a witch appeared to them and claimed
to be able to show them a place where fun and laughter would never end.
she brought them THROUGH SOME RANDOM WARDROBE to narnia.
everything was fine and dandy for a while. until they got bored.
and wanted to get out.
they found themsleves sealed behind a glass barrier.
all of a sudden, the MERLION appears and brings them back in time
to when singapore first started
[unfortunately i have forgotten that boring part of the plot. apologies]
somehow or the other, they manged to break free and scare the witch away.
thus singapore was saved.
that's about it.
okay. i doubt i have anything more to rant on on this dull and boring day.
toodles
11:21 PM
